Is It Too Late for Couples Therapy?

How Discernment Counseling Helps You Decide

Sometimes, couples wonder if the train has already left the station. In other words, is it too late for couples therapy? Too much water under the bridge? Too many cracks in the foundation? Choose your metaphor of choice.

Unpacking the reasons why trust, commitment, and fondness may have eroded in a relationship can feel daunting. But when I sense my clients are questioning whether the effort is even worth it, I often use a phrase—“You can’t divorce yourself.” It’s a powerful reminder I learned from Dr. William Doherty, the therapist who developed Discernment Counseling.

“You can’t divorce yourself” means that the patterns, blind spots, and emotional wounds we carry into one relationship don’t disappear if we leave. Without understanding your own role in the dynamic, you’re likely to repeat it—whether in a new relationship or in ongoing co-parenting after divorce. That’s why, even when a couple feels stuck or unsure, Discernment Counseling can offer a meaningful path forward.

What Is Discernment Counseling?

Discernment Counseling is a short-term, structured process designed for couples on the brink of separation—especially when one person is “leaning out” and the other is “leaning in.” Unlike traditional couples therapy, which assumes both partners are ready to work on the relationship, Discernment Counseling helps couples decide whether to:

• Stay the course with no change

• Move toward separation or divorce

• Commit to a period of focused couples therapy

When You’re Not on the Same Page

If one partner is unsure whether they even want to stay in the relationship, forcing traditional couples therapy can feel overwhelming or premature. Discernment Counseling respects this ambivalence. It provides a safe space to explore the deeper story of what went wrong and whether healing is possible—without rushing to fix things.

Even if the final decision is to part ways, clients often leave with a stronger sense of clarity, emotional insight, and self-awareness. This is especially valuable for couples with children or ongoing ties, as it sets the tone for more respectful future interactions.

So... Is It Too Late?

If you’re wondering, “Should we stay together or divorce?” or searching for Discernment Counseling near me, know this: it may not be too late—but it is time to get clear.

Whether you’re hoping to rebuild trust or find peace in parting, Discernment Counseling helps you understand your story—together or apart.