Remember that sing-song retort from the playground: “I know you are but what am I?” It was classic recess material for 2nd graders, right alongside “I’m rubber, you’re glue; whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”

As silly as it sounds, this phrase reminds me of a powerful tool I often recommend in couples therapy when partners are working on improving how they handle conflict in marriage or long-term relationships. It’s called The Assumption of Similarity.

In couples counseling, I often emphasize that the relationship is the real client. This simple but powerful reframe helps couples shift perspective: instead of battling each other, they unite to strengthen the bond they co-created.

Is weekly couples therapy not creating the momentum you hoped for? You're not alone. Many couples begin traditional weekly counseling only to find themselves stuck in a familiar cycle: two steps forward, one step back. After each session, the pressures of daily life—parenting, work, and stress—can slowly pull couples back into old habits.

Marathon Couples Therapy isn’t your typical weekly counseling format. It’s an immersive, high-impact approach designed to help couples make meaningful progress fast—like running a marathon at sprint speed.

People often ask me if I watch the show Couples Therapy and what I think of its star therapist, Dr. Orna Guralnik. Unequivocally, I gush. In my opinion, Orna is everything you want in a couples therapist. I’ll expand on that!

Sometimes, couples wonder if the train has already left the station. In other words, is it too late for couples therapy? Too much water under the bridge?

Do you ever feel like you and your partner are stuck in the same disagreement on repeat—no matter how hard you try to resolve it? You’re not alone.

When I work with couples, parenting conflict is a regular theme. Of course, it is! Kids don’t come with instruction manuals. Everyone wants to do their doggone best.

I recently killed two hours on a flight home from Boston by watching the movie “The Descendants,” starring George Clooney, which was set in Hawaii. Maybe you’ve seen it.

What happens when a couple can’t even agree on whether or not they should try couples therapy?

On a recent trip to Hanoi, dear friends took my spouse and me to a restaurant that serves just a single dish:  Bánh Cuốn, a rich broth with rice dumplings and Vietnamese herbs.